Thank You Hannah Montana

Last weekend my husband and I took our daughter to see the Hannah Montana movie. We’re all huge fans of the show and knew the movie would be great but we had no idea the affect it would have on us.

With our four year old sitting happily between us we watched anxiously wondering whether Miley would continue to live her double life or give it up for something else. But something happened about midway through the movie. It stopped being about Miley/Hannah and became about us. At one point my husband and I looked at each other both in tears. The storyline in the movie seemed to parallel what we were going through in our own lives. Our daughter looked at both of us like we were nuts but we didn’t care. Let me explain what happened.

Both my husband and I are chronic people pleasers. It’s a blessing and a curse but it is who we are. Family is always first with us and we’ve spent a lot of time over the years working hard to try and make everyone happy.

Before we got married my now husband and I took a trip to Michigan where I’m from to meet my family and friends. He immediately fell in love with the place. Everything about it. The people the places, all of it. I was so excited he loved it as much as I did and we vowed that some day we would make it our home. Unfortunately since we both want to make everyone happy, he worried about what his friends and family would think of him living there and I worried about what my friends and family would think about us moving back there. Thirteen years, three cross country moves and twelve addresses later we have been so busy people pleasing that we lost ourselves in the process. We realized that we will never make everyone happy and now that we have our daughter it is about giving her the best possible life we can give her.

Over the past year we’ve talked a lot about where we will make our permanent home. Our daughter is starting kindergarten in the fall and we wanted to settle down before she started school. After weighing all of the pros and cons we finally arrived at the decision that we’ve wanted to be in Michigan all along. We’ve never let ourselves follow our own dream and have let others talk us out of it for one reason or another. So the moving plans began.

During the past few months our conversations have been about how peaceful we feel for the first time in our 15 years together because we know we are doing the right thing for us this time. We know we are giving our daughter a childhood she deserves in a place where she can be safe and happy. I know that I can share experiences with her that I had as a child and see them again through her eyes. We will be blessed to have family and friends around who love us and will be much closer in proximity to my husband’s family in Connecticut so that we can visit them more often which was very important to us.

We couldn’t be more excited about our move in just a couple of weeks and can’t wait to start this new chapter in our lives.

The lesson we’ve learned is to never let anyone steal your dreams. It’s ok to want to make others happy but you can only do that if you make yourself happy and do what’s right for you. If you can do that everything else will fall into place.

Remove the Guru Glue

I've noticed something interesting lately in my various social networks and circles. Everyone seems to be an expert. Everywhere I look someone is an expert at helping me market my business, increasing my income, get more traffic to my website, write a book, make millions on the internet, the list goes on and on.

My question is, where did all these self proclaimed experts come from and what makes them an expert to begin with?

The truth is just about anyone these days can claim they are an expert at something but you owe it to yourself to do your research before jumping on any bandwagon.

We all want to be successful and we're all looking for the "thing" that will get us where we want to be. Many of us (myself included) have stepped in what I call "Guru Glue" at one time or another. Guru Glue is when you get caught up in an expert's hype and information and before you know it you're on their mailing list, signing up for teleseminars and buying their products. Before you even get a chance to go through one program another guru comes along and you find yourself repeating the process over and over until you have an inbox full of newsletters you probably never read and several programs you purchased thinking they would bring you great success when in reality you haven't had time to go through any of them.

Before the next guru sticks to your shoe, do some research.

• They may be successful but is the path they took the path you want for your own business?
  
• Are you going to have to spend thousands of dollars to get the "real" information that they don't give you in the $47 or $97 info product that you bought?
• Is the way they conduct their business in alignment with the way you conduct yours?
• Are you seeking information because you feel stuck or lost? If so you may need to evaluate some underlying issues with yourself and your business before continuing your search.
  
• Is the information they are presenting the same information you've heard over and over regurgitated in a different way?
  
• Are you looking at the information from an emotional standpoint or a logical one?
  
• Does this person have long term success? There are hundreds of so-called "experts" out there who seem to have found overnight success with one method or another. But will they be around in ten years? Or even six months?
  
• Is their expertise based on information you can easily find yourself for free?
  

I'm not saying you shouldn't find mentors or successful people to model after. That's absolutely a key component to success. However, it's so incredibly easy to get caught up in the moment when something too good to be true comes along. (and by the way, if it seems to good to be true, it probably is or there's some sort of big catch that isn't obvious on the surface). The info product industry is soaring with the increase in online businesses. There are more products, mastermind programs, membership sites and teleseminars out there than you can imagine. Its very easy to quickly put these products together, throw together a sales page and sell them. But having a snazzy sales page, creative copy and eye-catching graphics doesn't make someone an expert.

If you're really interested in someone as an expert, here are some ways to get quality information from them for FREE:

1. Subscribe to Their Newsletter or Ezine
(yes I know I warned against this earlier in the post, but really an ezine is a safe way to get free tips and great information from someone in the industry that you admire.) You can always unsubscribe later if you decide you are no longer getting value from it.

2. Read their Blog
Most experts have a blog that they update at least once per week. There is usually a wealth of information in each post. Much of which comes straight from the info products that they sell.

3. Follow them on Twitter
Follow experts you are interested in on Twitter or Facebook. Many experts offer exclusive tips that they only post on Twitter. It is also a good way to interact with them on a more real level instead of placing them on an unreachable pedistal. Many experts also create Facebook fan pages and groups where you can get incredible content you won't find anywhere else from them. You may even find that some experts offer special deals and discounts to their "Fans" in the event you choose to purchase something from them so it pays to be on the "inside".

4. Sign Up for a Free Online Class
Most of the time when an expert does a "free" teleclass or webinar they are doing it to sell a product at the end. However, in the 60-90 minutes during the presentation you can usually get a lot of great information and tips for just the cost of the phone call. (*tip: to avoid spending the money on the phone call, sign up and wait for them to send you the recording after the call. Most offer the recording when you sign up as a bonus so you don't have to worry about missing the information).

Before the next guru sticks to you, take the time to decide for yourself whether you even need expert advice to be successful. If the answer is yes then do your research and make sure the guru is a good fit for you, your business and your objectives.